A friend of mine once humorously defined being self-centered as “thinking that as long as you are ok and happy, the world might as well go to hell” As you can see, it is a greatly awful characteristic and can destroy both those who have it and the people around them.
By studying the lives and environments (families, schools, surroundings…etc.) of some self-centered children, psychologists managed to find some common qualities, and here they are, the things you do that make children turn self-centered:
1- Making a comparison between your kids and other kids. Although it is true that you need to encourage your kids to be competitive to a certain degree, comparing them with others is never the way to do it. This makes them think that the ultimate goal is becoming better than others, NOT becoming better.
2- You make them think that they could never go wrong no matter what they do. When your kids commit mistakes or wrong others, you have to disciple them to make them learn that they have to admit their mistakes and take responsibility for them to make them better human beings.
3- You, the role model, act like a self-centered child yourself before your child. You do things like throwing tantrums when things do not go as you wish or you do not take advice or constructive criticism well. If you, the person your child looks up to, is acting like that, then you can’t blame him for being self-centered.
4- You do not praise your child unless he does something good. Although you do need to praise your child when he does something commendable, you also need – from time to time – to tell him that you love him just because he is your child.